it must be the 90+ degree weather today in SF. i’m looking outside of my office window and can see the ladies wearing their cute summer dresses and cute sandals.
i love this time of the year….like love it!
i had a lovely evening yesterday. spent time with the ex and it was actually relaxing and nice. afterwards, i went to check on the booski for a hot second since she was able to get her shit done last night. i feel so thankful that she is able to use her hands again and that nothing is broken. i always get so worried when i hear from her in the middle of the day when she is at her other job….this past weekend was no different when i received her text message 30-40 minutes into her shift.
luckily, i was able to wake up from my nap on saturday, hop on my bike to get groceries things that she needed (including the cookies she wanted me to bake her..lol), and headed over to her place…ON BIKE. :P
i am not used to her being needy at all, so this weekend was a little change of pace….even though she was hurt, she still insisted on cooking me dinner - which ended up being a team effort between the both of us…i kept on asking her what she wanted to make for dinner and she would respond by saying “WE are making blah blah blah…”.
there was something so adorable about her attempting to cook in her tights and long socks and bruised and achy body. there was also something really attractive about how she knew when to back down when the pain became too much for her….i’ve only known her as a very driven and independent and grounded person, so seeing her whine and back down from doing it all on her own was kind of….attractive to me.
i fell asleep around her for the first time this weekend snoring. of course, my crazy snores woke me up and it was my first instinct to apologize. i felt so horrible, but in her tired, raspy sleepy voice, she assured me that it was fine….hahah…i guess she will really experience the “rocks-in-a-blender” sooner than later.
i speak of her with such adoration because she has been a pivotal person in my life for the past few months. i speak of her with such adoration because with her, i feel like my words and feelings really matter and her reaction to the things i go through and things i feel are really genuine.
i’ve been brutally honest with her about “where i am at” since day one and that suspect instinct in me always searches for a weird flinch of her eye or some kind of indication that what i say or how i feel may bother her….i get nothing of the sort which makes me feel safe and secure being open with her.
it feels safe - that was one of the first things i told her when we started to build - that i feel safe with her.
on the other hand, it’s been a slow rolling process with the other. the attraction and connection is there, but it shouldn’t be as hard as it has been. i know we are both busy with our respective lives, but trying to connect hasn’t been the easiest thing. something always comes up.
not to knock her or me, but that’s just the reality of it.
we’ll see what happens…..
but for now, things are nice either way. i’m looking forward to this summer and all of the activities that will be going on…